Maldives - Christmas and Counting down to 2011
Being on the most southern island in Maldives called Vilingili, isolated with sparse wifi connection to be a part of my “never-a-dull-moment” life in Singapore and to wish multitudes of loved ones on Christmas and New Years day, check emails, deal with work and clients. I was left pretty much to my own solitude, 11 days to ponder on the year that is passing. In my opinion, there is nothing greater than love in life. Love with all your heart, embrace the joy and peace that it burns into you when you give love. Yet... 2010 was a rough one. I spent the whole of yesterday day and night in series of reflection, blank moments and tears. The passing of Peggy (who will always live on in my heart), being there to support family, constant change of gigs, managers, work situations, being on the road for the last 3 months (Mexico, New York, Maldives). Making and losing of friends and lovers. It was a compounded interest of repeated pain, betrayals, loss, bad judgement, naive and innocent behavior that led to blind trust. Unconditional love and trust bit me in the butt! Yes, tears were shed and i asked What is the lesson here? “Why?” Where did i falter? What did i do to deserve all this anguish? Then looking over the vast ocean view from my villa porch, the sun was setting, a blanket of stars will once again fill the sky and tomorrow will come in a matter of hours. I let out a big sigh and knew, there is still love and hope in my heart. The universe decides and everything happens for a reason and even in my darkest hours, i can see a light at the end of it all. Not fully understanding why i had to endure such a hard year. All i know is i’m still here, and i feel stronger. And knowing that facing obstacles (mostly people) can be scarring and take away your life’s time. But this is a vital process to grow and become further enlightened. Note: Thank you Axel for our conversations and the light that it has shed on me. Indeed, “how can you pour tea into the cup, if it is already full?” Thus i am set on the path of “emptying my cup”. Sorting through the rubbish, defragging, or purging from body and soul remnants of my hurtful past. Empty my cup, gently, as if i were my own baby. :) So after i mourned the sadness that sank to a depth in my gut which has never reach so low, i began to count my blessings. Life...friends and family, love and the joy, depth and wonders of music! Yes, I am strong, independent, successful and socially active AND proud of it. My air is rare... so come closer and breathe if you dare. :)
